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linden_jayApparently you never know how much you can miss Vin Diesel until he's gone. Funny that. Still, this movie had many things going for it, and many things that made me want to hit my head with a rubber mallet until it Stopped Being Like That Oh My God. Also, Paul Walker is a pretty, pretty man, who has clearly made someone in wardrobe very unhappy. I sincerely hope that this trend does not continue in the next movie, or I may sustain a brain injury of some kind.
- I begin by restating my opinion that if the police wanted to stop this whole street racing thing, they might want to start by following the booming music, giant crowds, and dozens of so-bright-you-can-see-them-from-space cars. Just a thought.
- Or just by training some dogs to track the scent of ‘ho’. God knows there are enough of them.
- And he’s still wearing the chucks. BLESS.
- Well, it looks like Brian has found some of that fabled respect he was looking for in the first movie. But come on. They couldn’t put him in a shirt that fit? That t-shirt would have been baggy on DOM.
- Bullet? Did she just call him BULLET?
- Did I mention last time that his eyes are stupid blue? Seriously. Keep on with the close-ups, people. I like this.
- They always look so surprised when the Nitro kicks in… like they forgot it was there. Dudes, you’re pushing the buttons… you should know!
- I think if you’re going to be undercover, you should have the worlds most obvious hairstyle. That’s obviously the way to go.
- GRAPPLING HOOKS? ARE YOU COMPLETELY KIDDING ME? EMP GENERATING GRAPPLING HOOKS?
- Wow. That’s an awful lot of guns being pointed at a guy for driving a car.
- Oh, I see how this goes. That’s Brian’s ex, isn’t it?
- Legs wrapped around his waist, grappling in the dirt. Innnnnteresting. I believe there is some angry sex in their future.
- WHAT THE FUCK IS BRIAN WEARING OH MY GOD.
- AND WHAT COLOUR IS THAT CAR?
- My eyes are never gonna recover.
- ‘He did the stare and drive on you, didn’t he? He got that from me.’ Oh, I like this one. He’s gonna be JELLIS when he finds out about Dom.
- I mean, seriously, did they not have any full-length pants for him? I know Paul Walker is tall, but honestly.
- Okay, the whole driving thing off to get whatever out of the glove box, why don’t they just MAKE OUT already.
- AH HA HA HA. Taking off the shirt to break the window and it’s unlocked and ‘now put your blouse back on’ and BLESS.
- So basically Brian + bald guys with big guns=OTP? This explains OH so much.
- Okay. So. The slash increases exponentially with each movie, yes? This is the formula? Because it’s been like FIVE MINUTES and Roman is still bitching at Brian about checking out the girl’s ass, and Brian’s still denying that he did it, and wow, they could not be more married if they tried. Seriously, man, you don’t think this is gonna get back to Dom? You gave him your CAR, man! I thought that meant that you were going steady!
- I can’t take him seriously in those pants. I just can’t. He’s trying to be all hard-assed and whatever, and everyone’s calling him ‘bullet’ and I just keep wanting him to put on some normal length pants. For the love of god, can someone PLEASE put Paul Walker in jeans? PLEASE? No one as pretty as Paul Walker should look THIS ridiculous.
- And Roman (I’m gonna end up accidentally typing Ronon at some point--we know this, right?) starts going over the ladies in bikinis and Brian’s response is… to put his hands all over Roman and paw at him. And Roman smiles and is like ‘yes, that is how it is’. Uh huh.
- oh my GOD is he wearing a shirt with his NAME ON IT? Is he gonna FORGET? I mean, they don't even send him undercover with a new first name. He gets to keep his first name and just change his last name. Does he have to have the reminder? Those kind of shirts, they’re supposed to say, like, Earl on them or something. I just can’t even deal.
- Don't you wonder what some of the casting sheets must look like for these movies? 'And we'll need some skanks. All races may apply, the more boobs the better. Natural not required. Please wax'
- Someone should really tell Eva that her dress is tucked underneath her bra. I mean, how embarrassing. What’s next, her skirt tucked down the back of her panties as fashion? This movie hurts my SOUL.
- And like… they’re both undercover, and they’re both talking about the fact that they are/we’re cops, in a crowd full of god knows who, when they don‘t know where the bad guy is. That’s so wise.
- Um. So. We’ve got some motivational theater here, involving a rat and a bucket and oh that’s just… really, was that necessary? What if a health inspector was on the premises? I’m sure they’d have lost their license. What kind of club is this?
- Puma sweat pants. I’m… I don’t even know if I can make it through the last 30 minutes of this movie.
- And there’s some kind of Plan to best the authorities and the bad guy both. Oh, this should go well.
- Have I mentioned lately that Paul Walker has really pretty eyes?
- Really, terribly pretty eyes.
- And… I… is he wearing jeans for the first time this movie? Oh, Paul. Thank you for that. However, I can see that red shirt from SPACE.
- That was the cutest little victory dance I have EVER SEEN when Roman killed the SUV into the police cars. Seriously. SO CUTE.
- They are PEP TALKING each other whilst they drive. They really are so married.
- What the CRAP are these grappelling hook things? SERIOUSLY?
- I have a feeling that the police department of Florida… wherever it is they are, is going to be very displeased with how many police cars have been destroyed by this particular mission. The number of WCB claims and the paperwork alone they’re going to have to deal with is going to be one hell of a headache.
- So… here’s my other question. This is like, Miami or something, right? Fairly high crime city? There are SEVEN THOUSAND police cars after these guys. Have the other criminals noticed yet? Because seriously, they could take over the city, and there’s no one to stop them.
- … did the muscle just BITE HIM ON THE ARM? I’m running out of capital letters here. He.. I… *hands*
- No airbags on classic American muscle, are there? Didn’t reckon so.
- That is the best plan EVER. Jump onto a boat from in a car and get all smashed up and barely be able to move when the smoke clears. At least it worked. Which, I mean. Duh. It ALWAYS works in these kinds of movies. Because it’s a stupid plan. Stupid plans? Work.
Brian: “I hope you know that when he gets out, he’s gonna kill your ass’
Roman: “He ain’t gettin’ out”
Bad Guy: “I’ll see you soon”
Roman: ”You think he gonna get out?”
Brian: “He’ll be out.”
Roman: “No for real you think he gettin’ out?”
*dies. A lot*
- Yeah, because it wouldn’t be at ALL suspicious if they opened a garage together after a thing where there was an unspecified amount of money recovered an-what’s that, Jay? You’re being logical? You should stop that and look at Paul’s pretty eyes and ignore his bad clothes? Okay!
Good lord. So, just from having watched this, I’m assuming that the next movie that has Brian in it is about Roman and Dom fighting to the death for who gets to own his tight blond ass? Because I’m pretty sure that they proposed to each other there at the end. Also, if Paul Walker had looked more like himself and less like Norman Reedus in the movie poster, I wouldn’t have been so confused about thinking he wasn’t in this movie...
- I begin by restating my opinion that if the police wanted to stop this whole street racing thing, they might want to start by following the booming music, giant crowds, and dozens of so-bright-you-can-see-them-from-space cars. Just a thought.
- Or just by training some dogs to track the scent of ‘ho’. God knows there are enough of them.
- And he’s still wearing the chucks. BLESS.
- Well, it looks like Brian has found some of that fabled respect he was looking for in the first movie. But come on. They couldn’t put him in a shirt that fit? That t-shirt would have been baggy on DOM.
- Bullet? Did she just call him BULLET?
- Did I mention last time that his eyes are stupid blue? Seriously. Keep on with the close-ups, people. I like this.
- They always look so surprised when the Nitro kicks in… like they forgot it was there. Dudes, you’re pushing the buttons… you should know!
- I think if you’re going to be undercover, you should have the worlds most obvious hairstyle. That’s obviously the way to go.
- GRAPPLING HOOKS? ARE YOU COMPLETELY KIDDING ME? EMP GENERATING GRAPPLING HOOKS?
- Wow. That’s an awful lot of guns being pointed at a guy for driving a car.
- Oh, I see how this goes. That’s Brian’s ex, isn’t it?
- Legs wrapped around his waist, grappling in the dirt. Innnnnteresting. I believe there is some angry sex in their future.
- WHAT THE FUCK IS BRIAN WEARING OH MY GOD.
- AND WHAT COLOUR IS THAT CAR?
- My eyes are never gonna recover.
- ‘He did the stare and drive on you, didn’t he? He got that from me.’ Oh, I like this one. He’s gonna be JELLIS when he finds out about Dom.
- I mean, seriously, did they not have any full-length pants for him? I know Paul Walker is tall, but honestly.
- Okay, the whole driving thing off to get whatever out of the glove box, why don’t they just MAKE OUT already.
- AH HA HA HA. Taking off the shirt to break the window and it’s unlocked and ‘now put your blouse back on’ and BLESS.
- So basically Brian + bald guys with big guns=OTP? This explains OH so much.
- Okay. So. The slash increases exponentially with each movie, yes? This is the formula? Because it’s been like FIVE MINUTES and Roman is still bitching at Brian about checking out the girl’s ass, and Brian’s still denying that he did it, and wow, they could not be more married if they tried. Seriously, man, you don’t think this is gonna get back to Dom? You gave him your CAR, man! I thought that meant that you were going steady!
- I can’t take him seriously in those pants. I just can’t. He’s trying to be all hard-assed and whatever, and everyone’s calling him ‘bullet’ and I just keep wanting him to put on some normal length pants. For the love of god, can someone PLEASE put Paul Walker in jeans? PLEASE? No one as pretty as Paul Walker should look THIS ridiculous.
- And Roman (I’m gonna end up accidentally typing Ronon at some point--we know this, right?) starts going over the ladies in bikinis and Brian’s response is… to put his hands all over Roman and paw at him. And Roman smiles and is like ‘yes, that is how it is’. Uh huh.
- oh my GOD is he wearing a shirt with his NAME ON IT? Is he gonna FORGET? I mean, they don't even send him undercover with a new first name. He gets to keep his first name and just change his last name. Does he have to have the reminder? Those kind of shirts, they’re supposed to say, like, Earl on them or something. I just can’t even deal.
- Don't you wonder what some of the casting sheets must look like for these movies? 'And we'll need some skanks. All races may apply, the more boobs the better. Natural not required. Please wax'
- Someone should really tell Eva that her dress is tucked underneath her bra. I mean, how embarrassing. What’s next, her skirt tucked down the back of her panties as fashion? This movie hurts my SOUL.
- And like… they’re both undercover, and they’re both talking about the fact that they are/we’re cops, in a crowd full of god knows who, when they don‘t know where the bad guy is. That’s so wise.
- Um. So. We’ve got some motivational theater here, involving a rat and a bucket and oh that’s just… really, was that necessary? What if a health inspector was on the premises? I’m sure they’d have lost their license. What kind of club is this?
- Puma sweat pants. I’m… I don’t even know if I can make it through the last 30 minutes of this movie.
- And there’s some kind of Plan to best the authorities and the bad guy both. Oh, this should go well.
- Have I mentioned lately that Paul Walker has really pretty eyes?
- Really, terribly pretty eyes.
- And… I… is he wearing jeans for the first time this movie? Oh, Paul. Thank you for that. However, I can see that red shirt from SPACE.
- That was the cutest little victory dance I have EVER SEEN when Roman killed the SUV into the police cars. Seriously. SO CUTE.
- They are PEP TALKING each other whilst they drive. They really are so married.
- What the CRAP are these grappelling hook things? SERIOUSLY?
- I have a feeling that the police department of Florida… wherever it is they are, is going to be very displeased with how many police cars have been destroyed by this particular mission. The number of WCB claims and the paperwork alone they’re going to have to deal with is going to be one hell of a headache.
- So… here’s my other question. This is like, Miami or something, right? Fairly high crime city? There are SEVEN THOUSAND police cars after these guys. Have the other criminals noticed yet? Because seriously, they could take over the city, and there’s no one to stop them.
- … did the muscle just BITE HIM ON THE ARM? I’m running out of capital letters here. He.. I… *hands*
- No airbags on classic American muscle, are there? Didn’t reckon so.
- That is the best plan EVER. Jump onto a boat from in a car and get all smashed up and barely be able to move when the smoke clears. At least it worked. Which, I mean. Duh. It ALWAYS works in these kinds of movies. Because it’s a stupid plan. Stupid plans? Work.
Brian: “I hope you know that when he gets out, he’s gonna kill your ass’
Roman: “He ain’t gettin’ out”
Bad Guy: “I’ll see you soon”
Roman: ”You think he gonna get out?”
Brian: “He’ll be out.”
Roman: “No for real you think he gettin’ out?”
*dies. A lot*
- Yeah, because it wouldn’t be at ALL suspicious if they opened a garage together after a thing where there was an unspecified amount of money recovered an-what’s that, Jay? You’re being logical? You should stop that and look at Paul’s pretty eyes and ignore his bad clothes? Okay!
Good lord. So, just from having watched this, I’m assuming that the next movie that has Brian in it is about Roman and Dom fighting to the death for who gets to own his tight blond ass? Because I’m pretty sure that they proposed to each other there at the end. Also, if Paul Walker had looked more like himself and less like Norman Reedus in the movie poster, I wouldn’t have been so confused about thinking he wasn’t in this movie...
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no subject
Date: 2010-02-10 05:47 pm (UTC)Roman is absolutely adorable, isn't he?
The post-movie story I'd recommend reading at this point is Female Trouble-Man Trouble-Just Trouble, a three-parter that has Brian and Eva, Brian and Roman, and then, of course, Brian and Dom. And it's AWESOME. Rome is the totally jellis bff-with-benefits, Brian is amazing, and Dom is...even more amazing. It also has one of the single most incendiary sex scenes I've ever read in fanfiction in it, and it pretty much follows movie 2 directly.
(don't watch Movie 3. Seriously, don't. Skip straight to four, which is better for all concerned.)
no subject
Date: 2010-02-10 10:22 pm (UTC)I do love Roman. He was awesome. And they are so exes. With issues, of course.
Does the next movie have bad clothes like this? I need to know so that I can be prepared. And by next movie, I mean movie 4. I have limits.
(I need to know what the special features are called too so I can see if some kind person has put them on youtube. I want to watch the geeking!)
no subject
Date: 2010-02-10 10:28 pm (UTC)And Dom? Somehow, even hotter. I have no idea.
I'll have to get the DVDs out to figure it out. Next time I'm capable of getting off the couch, I'll do it. Also, dude, I really will mail you the DVD and you can just mail it back! It's a slimline case, I could get it in a standard envelope!
no subject
Date: 2010-02-10 10:32 pm (UTC)I have never found Vin hot before, so clearly I find Dom hot, and now I find Vin hot. This works well for our purposes!
Just make sure that you're not falling down when you try and get up. And take the sick days you need, child! That's what they're FOR!
I am so looking forward to you catching up on other things and going for White Collar. It is the OT3 show of my HEART.