linden_jay

I wonder if I went back and did a check, how often I'd find that as the lead up phrase in any post I write? Probably it would just depress me if I found out the answer to that. I haven't slept yet--at all--and I still need to go out shopping for jeans, go to a physio appointment, and then--joy of joys--I will be taking the babies on their first airplane ride as we go to visit my grandmother and aunt for a week. My mother's coming with me, I'm not so totally insane to fly with two not-quite-ten-month-olds on my own.

I'll be gone for the better part of a week, and I won't have much access to the internet, although I will be at least checking email, so if anyone needs to get a hold of me, use that, or contact fiercy or ashinae. They can track me down.

This has been a really tough week for a lot of people I care about. I'm crossposting this, and of course many of you already know this all too well, but for those who don't, we lost lunasv to cancer this past week. I have thoughts, and I'm trying to get them in coherent order, and if I do, before I go, I'll post them. For now, I have two things to say. I respected lunasv deeply, as a writer, as a person, as a mother, and as a friend, and I wish very much that I'd known her better. The second is, in the words of apetslife, fuck cancer. Fuck it so hard. I know that's not a positive or uplifting thought, and I'm usually better at those, but I'm so tired of losing people to it.

Take care of each other, and be good to yourselves. Be at peace.

It's not going to be long. Months turned into weeks, which is rapidly turning into days or less. Everyone in the family is being called, we've got doctors and nurses and hospice people making house calls, and we've got some of the strongest cough medicine known to man to try and get her to stop going into spasms. She's on the top of the waiting list to get into the hospice program, but I don't think we've got that long. And if we did, I don't know how we'd move her.

She's very agitated right now, although we're working on it, and the only time she cried was when the nurse told her that she thought Nana needed to be back in the hospital. We're going to try everything humanly possible to keep that from happening. It's the only thing she's asked for, and if at all possible, we want to honour that.

I don't know when I'll be around. Please keep thinking of us.

Okay, so I've had a busy crazy weekend and start to my week, what with the reunion, which I survived, and various post-reunion activities, which included an evening next to a crack den. But don't worry--they didn't let their four pit bulls out into the dirt yard, and apparently they don't have any guns, so it was all fine.

But I'm going to have to get back to writing about that at another time, because I just got a call from my mom. My Nana's (I've talked about her before) has been having back pain for a couple weeks. They did a cat scan to see if her cancer was spreading (she's had radiation, but they're not treating her more aggressively than that, because of her age and the nature of the cancer), and it came back negative.

But apparently there's another problem, which they just found out today when they took her into the hospital because the pain got too bad. She's got a broken hip. For weeks, she's been walking around with a broken hip, and she didn't know until just now. She's in the hospital now, and she's getting proper pain medication, so she's comfortable. They're doing tests to find out what caused the break and whether or not she's going to have to have surgery to repair it, or what she's going to need. It's possible that the break could have been as a result of the cancer spreading into her hip, but right now, that's all just speculation.

We won't know more until we know more, basically. At least this time my parents called to tell me what was going on as soon as we knew that something was going on, instead of trying to wait until we knew everything. When I know more, I'll let people know.

*sends hugs to my flist*.