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linden_jay...also known as why this post is two weeks/seventeen days later than originally planned.
A year and seventeen days ago, I was living back in the town I grew up in after finishing my university degree, unable to find summer work, a fairly common problem in the Okanagan, where even the crappiest jobs are few and far between. My friends had all moved away to go to college and had stayed away, and I had started reading slash around February of that year (Jay’s descent into slash madness).
I was reluctant to get a livejournal because I couldn’t think of what on earth I’d possibly post in it. I wasn’t writing, only reading, and I thought it would be silly to have one just because there were people who I wanted to friend and read... I think I also had this sense that I’d be ‘rejected for friendom’ because I wasn’t contributing or something. Also- and nobody believes me on this- but I’m actually terribly shy, and this would mean that people actually Knew I Was There, instead of being a quiet, happy little lurker.
So, instead, I had a book marked list of different writers on livejournal, which I would religiously check daily. Many, many times daily. I had my very favorite writers saved of course, (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
abundantlyqueer, chaosmanor, perseph2hades, scribbulus_ink, stewardess_lotr, tarnished_raven, and you can find links to what I think the best stuff they’ve ever written, as well as my other favorites on ”Jay’s ultimate rec’ list”)
But it was the Academic Husband, bless him, who was the one who actually poked me to get a livejournal. I was pouting because a few people I read were thinking of going friends only, and he figured if I was going to be reading this slash stuff anyway, it would be better for me to find a way to be participatory. I wasn’t a writer, but I’d mentioned that maybe, if I looked around a little, I could find someone who might want me as a beta. So, on July 5, I createdlinden_jay
The following day,tarnished_raven, whose journal I’d been checking 18632 times daily because she was in the middle of writing ”National Treasure” and “A Perfect Match” and had been updating at least once daily, posted her thought/plan/intention to turn Palace into a Role Playing Game. I was already following The Establishment over on journalfen, but I a) wasn’t a writer, and b) sure as hell wasn’t a kink writer. But Palace - Palace!
I was tempted. Really, really, hella tempted. But the character I wanted, that I’d wanted to play in an RPG for some time (Craig Parker) was already taken. So I shrugged, decided it was probably for the best, vowed to read the com once it got up and running, and decided to read Palace again, just because.
And there he was. Smiling that shit eating grin at me, just waiting for me to show up and get snagged. Harry Sinclair. Now, you have to understand - I’d completely given up the idea of playing at all- decided it was a bad idea. I’d never RP’d. I’d never written, I’d never had so much as a plotbunny- let alone writing a drabble, fic or arc. Harry did. Not. Care. He was coming into game, I was playing him, and that was simply all there was to it.
The comment I made to the thread requesting to play Harry was the second comment I’d left on lj (I’d always been too shy to post feedback anonymous). And I was completely convinced I’d be turned down. Buttarnished_raven said yes, the madwoman, and added to her approval that the person playing Orlando had expressed interest in keeping Harry and Orlando together as a couple.
Now, see, this is the part where I really started to panic. Because somehow, in all my determination that I could probably play Harry, keep him nice and peripheral, not get too involved or mess up the people who actually knew what they were doing, I’d managed to skip past the part that the character was in an established relationship. And people in established relationships in slash games have OMG sex. Which meant I was actually going to have write- god- CO write OMG sex. What the hell had I gotten myself into?
Lord, if only I’d known what I was getting myself into. If only I could look back, turn back the clock, change things... so I could do it all over exactly the same way again, but savor it this time. And without the paralyzing terror would be nice.
The game started. Lovely people likeknoifey_spoony made icons for those of us who didn’t know how to pretty up our shiny new character journals palaceharry (second livejournal in only 2 days... bit skeery). And that started one of the most fun, most creative, most memorable years of my life.
From the beginning...
laideedai: is credited for giving me the spark towards full on adoration and guhlust for both Eric Bana and Jude Law, forgiving me (I think) for not having previously seen the extreme hotness of them both, and was the first person I wrote with in game. The first time Harry really broke out and showed up on the page it was while writing with you, and he really hasn’t changed all that much from that original incarnation.
anorienbean: The banter between Ano’s Craig and my Harry really cemented Harry’s style and manner of speaking, besides being hella fun to write. Ano was also the first person I really clicked with online, leading to mammoth chats until dear god o’ clock in the morning, and was responsible (post voice chat) for me inflicting a full on North Carolinan accent on my customers at work... culminating in my telling a person who’d bought gift certificates ‘Y’all come back now, y’here?’ My coworkers still laugh at me.
angiepen: ... you proudly admit that you set a pit trap to catch me and my Harry so you could plot and write with me/us, and there’s no way I can but be flattered at that. The trials and tribulations of Johnny have brought out things in Harry I didn’t know were possible, sides I didn’t even know he had. And it’s made me a better player in game, to the point of admitting that I guess I really am a writer after all.
little___hobbit: Before dominics_mum, before palace_anna, Harry’s earliest in-game friendship with a woman came from his friendship with palace_miranda. I loved the by-play, the teasing, the change in how he interacted with her, especially contrasted with how he interacted with other characters. Thank you for that.
fin_anwamane: When I needed a reason for Harry to be out of town during the time I was moving, the Amy plotline provided that. Thank you for giving me a plausible and fun to write opportunity for my character - it led to a lot of really fun stuff in game, and it spun in to any number of different plotlines. It’s lovely when that happens.
sairalinde: The backstory scene we did where Harry talked sense into David really helped me discover sides of Harry’s character I hadn’t considered before... the casual and subtle followed by an immediate bat-to-the-head approach, to be more specific. I think I learned a lot, both knowing you and writing with you, and I’m glad for it. And I’ll always be glad for the Viggo/Karl dynamic that was set up in game, because it got me and Lex writing together on a larger scale, and those two together are so much fun to write.
tsinivari: I still think the long we did with me playing Ian McKellen to a newly retrieved Mads is one of the best things we ever wrote, and it’s your fault I played Ian at any time at all, because before you sparked that bunny, I never intended to do anything with him beyond leaving him as a one liner, behind the scenes character. I’m always in awe of your ability to create the complex histories and backstories you do for your characters... especially since mine refuse to tell me almost anything until I actually start playing them.
drachekatze: Your Ioan... bristly, spunky, and a worthy snark foe for my Harry. I truly enjoyed the opportunities we had to play against each other, and I still snort when I remember the pinned up against the wall log.
angel_nat_nat: Before you showed up, I was completely ignorant to the pretty that is Josh Holloway. So, even though I still have yet to see Lost, between the pictures and the writing, you’ve given me one heck of a good reason to!
bijouatweb: All credit and congratulations to you- coming into an already established game, even when you’d been following it all along the way you have- is not easy. And I know very well how hard it is to adopt a character and try and balance existing backstory and characterization with your own view of the character. You’ve done a truly excellent job, and we need to write more in future *determined and stubborn nod of the head*.
your_own_path: My sister in I-don’t-want-to-look-for-work-can’t-I-just-stay-home-and-write-porn? You take such risks with your characters, but I don’t think it’s really obvious just how much unless you stop and think about it. You’re willing to let them be flawed, be silly, be clowns who fall right on their asses, *snugs dear, wonderful Matt* and yet they still remain fully believable... not to mention striking a chord with readers. Most important of all though- writing with you is just plain fun, and you’ve always been there to listen to me scream at the rain. Plus, the brotherslash thing was your idea, and that just cracks my shit up. Fic!Incest squick my ass... I suppose my work is done now *evil Jay grin*.
And the corrupters:
darknight999: Jess and I were meant to know each other. In another life, I’m pretty sure we were sisters, because it’s either that, or we used to be the same person, and are just two individual people in this life. Where it gets really funny though, is that not only are we as much alike as we are, Jess’s Katie, and my Academic husband seem to be basically the same person as well... we are in serious fear for our own getting-away-with-shit if they ever meet and start comparing notes on how to handle us. If it wasn’t for Jess, I’d have never written RPS outside of ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
rpg_palace, so bless or blame, you’ve got her to point to. She’s put me, and my characters through torment in rpg_palace, and I’ve done the same back to her, and we’ve gotten some brilliant arcs out of it. She’s funny, she’s a better writer than she’ll ever give herself credit for, and she wields one hell of a shovel, so for the love of god, don’t piss her off! And between rpg_palace, lord_of_swords, vamrps, and the shitload of RPS we’ve written since March, she still finds time to give me hell over not eating vegetables. Love you, ma cricket.
lady_adrian: Ma wee mutant, despot spawn, Harry’s Orlando... god, but we’ve had fun this year! The sheer amount of stuff we’ve written is the primary reason I’m literally terrified to try and organize my memories for Harry in rpg_palace. I don’t think I’m being too self congratulatory to say I think we’ve written some amazing stories, and taken the boys through some crazy stuff this year, and I love that they’ve weathered it all. I cried when we broke Harry and Orlando up, even though we knew it would all be all right. I winced when Harry had to tell Orlando he’d almost died and told them not to call Orlando. I love these two characters, and I love having gotten to know you, (and the rest of the wee Tassies along with you) and if when I visit Tasmania or Australia someday, it’s going to because of you, tarnished_raven, and them. And someday, I’ll send you candy corn... if I don’t eat it all first! *snugs to bits and bits*.
darkenheart: Wow. How do I even start to write about Lex. The self proclaimed ‘Queen of Angst’, the meta Goddess. How do I say that we’ve written literally thousands of pages together- probably into the tens of thousands by now, and not sound absurd, even if it is true. You pulled me into meta- although the first time you did it, it ended up ficced, which is kind of funny- and everything kind of went on from there. We’ve got strange pairings, Alternate Palace universes, AU’s of the AU’s, backstories, deep angst, kink, baby, we’ve got it all... not that we’ve let anyone see most of it *grin*. And I’ve loved writing all of it... even when you make me write two characters opposite each other in scene, and if I ever manage to actually fic something all on my own, it’ll be because you pushed me to do it in meta, and I’ve learned that it isn’t as scary as all that... even if it’s always more fun co-writing. And no matter what’s happened, you’ve always been there, and that means everything. *hugs tight tight tight*.
And finally, the benevolent despot herself:
tarnished_raven: gets the official ‘I deflowered Jay, ask me how!’ button. I am a gleeful and unapologetic fangirl of hers, delight in quoting her work back to her whether she recognizes it or not, and even now, over a year later, I get giddy excited when I know we’ve got an arc planned, or are about to write together. tarnished_raven Thank you. Thank you for writing Palace in the first place, for letting us fingerpaint all over your amazing fic, for giving me oxygen when I was blue from screaming at the rain, for Adrian, because you must have had something to do with making her the amazing person she is, and ... okay, how do I just say thanks for everything, because I wouldn’t even be writing fic if it wasn’t for you? So thank you. Just thank you so fucking much.
And so here I am. A year and seventeen days *kicks decision to spend lj anniversary fighting with a troll on metaquotes instead of posting something here* since I started mylinden_jay journal, and, as a side note, this is my one hundredth post in this journal. A year and two weeks since I first posted to rpg_palace as palaceharry.
Since those initial two journals, I’ve added:palace_viggo, palace_scouts, palace_guy, palace_stephen, palace_jay_npc, purebloodminion, Mirror journals on journalfen and GreatestJournal, for a total of (dear God!) ten journals, and one community - palace_outtakes - that I co-mod with darkenheart. I have 2277 conversations archived in Yahoo messenger, and 861 conferences. I have made some of the best friends I’ve ever had in my life, and I’ve had more fun writing and talking and raging and crying and giggling with them then I ever imagined I could.
I’ll admit it- I was one of those people who didn’t think you could make real friendships with people you met online. I laughed at people who did, and I thought they were stupid. I was the stupid one. I love you all.
Jay.
A year and seventeen days ago, I was living back in the town I grew up in after finishing my university degree, unable to find summer work, a fairly common problem in the Okanagan, where even the crappiest jobs are few and far between. My friends had all moved away to go to college and had stayed away, and I had started reading slash around February of that year (Jay’s descent into slash madness).
I was reluctant to get a livejournal because I couldn’t think of what on earth I’d possibly post in it. I wasn’t writing, only reading, and I thought it would be silly to have one just because there were people who I wanted to friend and read... I think I also had this sense that I’d be ‘rejected for friendom’ because I wasn’t contributing or something. Also- and nobody believes me on this- but I’m actually terribly shy, and this would mean that people actually Knew I Was There, instead of being a quiet, happy little lurker.
So, instead, I had a book marked list of different writers on livejournal, which I would religiously check daily. Many, many times daily. I had my very favorite writers saved of course, (
abundantlyqueer, chaosmanor, perseph2hades, scribbulus_ink, stewardess_lotr, tarnished_raven, and you can find links to what I think the best stuff they’ve ever written, as well as my other favorites on ”Jay’s ultimate rec’ list”)But it was the Academic Husband, bless him, who was the one who actually poked me to get a livejournal. I was pouting because a few people I read were thinking of going friends only, and he figured if I was going to be reading this slash stuff anyway, it would be better for me to find a way to be participatory. I wasn’t a writer, but I’d mentioned that maybe, if I looked around a little, I could find someone who might want me as a beta. So, on July 5, I created
linden_jayThe following day,
tarnished_raven, whose journal I’d been checking 18632 times daily because she was in the middle of writing ”National Treasure” and “A Perfect Match” and had been updating at least once daily, posted her thought/plan/intention to turn Palace into a Role Playing Game. I was already following The Establishment over on journalfen, but I a) wasn’t a writer, and b) sure as hell wasn’t a kink writer. But Palace - Palace! I was tempted. Really, really, hella tempted. But the character I wanted, that I’d wanted to play in an RPG for some time (Craig Parker) was already taken. So I shrugged, decided it was probably for the best, vowed to read the com once it got up and running, and decided to read Palace again, just because.
And there he was. Smiling that shit eating grin at me, just waiting for me to show up and get snagged. Harry Sinclair. Now, you have to understand - I’d completely given up the idea of playing at all- decided it was a bad idea. I’d never RP’d. I’d never written, I’d never had so much as a plotbunny- let alone writing a drabble, fic or arc. Harry did. Not. Care. He was coming into game, I was playing him, and that was simply all there was to it.
The comment I made to the thread requesting to play Harry was the second comment I’d left on lj (I’d always been too shy to post feedback anonymous). And I was completely convinced I’d be turned down. But
tarnished_raven said yes, the madwoman, and added to her approval that the person playing Orlando had expressed interest in keeping Harry and Orlando together as a couple.Now, see, this is the part where I really started to panic. Because somehow, in all my determination that I could probably play Harry, keep him nice and peripheral, not get too involved or mess up the people who actually knew what they were doing, I’d managed to skip past the part that the character was in an established relationship. And people in established relationships in slash games have OMG sex. Which meant I was actually going to have write- god- CO write OMG sex. What the hell had I gotten myself into?
Lord, if only I’d known what I was getting myself into. If only I could look back, turn back the clock, change things... so I could do it all over exactly the same way again, but savor it this time. And without the paralyzing terror would be nice.
The game started. Lovely people like
knoifey_spoony made icons for those of us who didn’t know how to pretty up our shiny new character journals palaceharry (second livejournal in only 2 days... bit skeery). And that started one of the most fun, most creative, most memorable years of my life.From the beginning...
laideedai: is credited for giving me the spark towards full on adoration and guhlust for both Eric Bana and Jude Law, forgiving me (I think) for not having previously seen the extreme hotness of them both, and was the first person I wrote with in game. The first time Harry really broke out and showed up on the page it was while writing with you, and he really hasn’t changed all that much from that original incarnation. anorienbean: The banter between Ano’s Craig and my Harry really cemented Harry’s style and manner of speaking, besides being hella fun to write. Ano was also the first person I really clicked with online, leading to mammoth chats until dear god o’ clock in the morning, and was responsible (post voice chat) for me inflicting a full on North Carolinan accent on my customers at work... culminating in my telling a person who’d bought gift certificates ‘Y’all come back now, y’here?’ My coworkers still laugh at me.angiepen: ... you proudly admit that you set a pit trap to catch me and my Harry so you could plot and write with me/us, and there’s no way I can but be flattered at that. The trials and tribulations of Johnny have brought out things in Harry I didn’t know were possible, sides I didn’t even know he had. And it’s made me a better player in game, to the point of admitting that I guess I really am a writer after all.little___hobbit: Before dominics_mum, before palace_anna, Harry’s earliest in-game friendship with a woman came from his friendship with palace_miranda. I loved the by-play, the teasing, the change in how he interacted with her, especially contrasted with how he interacted with other characters. Thank you for that.fin_anwamane: When I needed a reason for Harry to be out of town during the time I was moving, the Amy plotline provided that. Thank you for giving me a plausible and fun to write opportunity for my character - it led to a lot of really fun stuff in game, and it spun in to any number of different plotlines. It’s lovely when that happens.sairalinde: The backstory scene we did where Harry talked sense into David really helped me discover sides of Harry’s character I hadn’t considered before... the casual and subtle followed by an immediate bat-to-the-head approach, to be more specific. I think I learned a lot, both knowing you and writing with you, and I’m glad for it. And I’ll always be glad for the Viggo/Karl dynamic that was set up in game, because it got me and Lex writing together on a larger scale, and those two together are so much fun to write.tsinivari: I still think the long we did with me playing Ian McKellen to a newly retrieved Mads is one of the best things we ever wrote, and it’s your fault I played Ian at any time at all, because before you sparked that bunny, I never intended to do anything with him beyond leaving him as a one liner, behind the scenes character. I’m always in awe of your ability to create the complex histories and backstories you do for your characters... especially since mine refuse to tell me almost anything until I actually start playing them.drachekatze: Your Ioan... bristly, spunky, and a worthy snark foe for my Harry. I truly enjoyed the opportunities we had to play against each other, and I still snort when I remember the pinned up against the wall log.angel_nat_nat: Before you showed up, I was completely ignorant to the pretty that is Josh Holloway. So, even though I still have yet to see Lost, between the pictures and the writing, you’ve given me one heck of a good reason to!bijouatweb: All credit and congratulations to you- coming into an already established game, even when you’d been following it all along the way you have- is not easy. And I know very well how hard it is to adopt a character and try and balance existing backstory and characterization with your own view of the character. You’ve done a truly excellent job, and we need to write more in future *determined and stubborn nod of the head*.your_own_path: My sister in I-don’t-want-to-look-for-work-can’t-I-just-stay-home-and-write-porn? You take such risks with your characters, but I don’t think it’s really obvious just how much unless you stop and think about it. You’re willing to let them be flawed, be silly, be clowns who fall right on their asses, *snugs dear, wonderful Matt* and yet they still remain fully believable... not to mention striking a chord with readers. Most important of all though- writing with you is just plain fun, and you’ve always been there to listen to me scream at the rain. Plus, the brotherslash thing was your idea, and that just cracks my shit up. Fic!Incest squick my ass... I suppose my work is done now *evil Jay grin*.And the corrupters:
darknight999: Jess and I were meant to know each other. In another life, I’m pretty sure we were sisters, because it’s either that, or we used to be the same person, and are just two individual people in this life. Where it gets really funny though, is that not only are we as much alike as we are, Jess’s Katie, and my Academic husband seem to be basically the same person as well... we are in serious fear for our own getting-away-with-shit if they ever meet and start comparing notes on how to handle us. If it wasn’t for Jess, I’d have never written RPS outside of rpg_palace, so bless or blame, you’ve got her to point to. She’s put me, and my characters through torment in rpg_palace, and I’ve done the same back to her, and we’ve gotten some brilliant arcs out of it. She’s funny, she’s a better writer than she’ll ever give herself credit for, and she wields one hell of a shovel, so for the love of god, don’t piss her off! And between rpg_palace, lord_of_swords, vamrps, and the shitload of RPS we’ve written since March, she still finds time to give me hell over not eating vegetables. Love you, ma cricket.lady_adrian: Ma wee mutant, despot spawn, Harry’s Orlando... god, but we’ve had fun this year! The sheer amount of stuff we’ve written is the primary reason I’m literally terrified to try and organize my memories for Harry in rpg_palace. I don’t think I’m being too self congratulatory to say I think we’ve written some amazing stories, and taken the boys through some crazy stuff this year, and I love that they’ve weathered it all. I cried when we broke Harry and Orlando up, even though we knew it would all be all right. I winced when Harry had to tell Orlando he’d almost died and told them not to call Orlando. I love these two characters, and I love having gotten to know you, (and the rest of the wee Tassies along with you) and if tarnished_raven, and them. And someday, I’ll send you candy corn... if I don’t eat it all first! *snugs to bits and bits*.darkenheart: Wow. How do I even start to write about Lex. The self proclaimed ‘Queen of Angst’, the meta Goddess. How do I say that we’ve written literally thousands of pages together- probably into the tens of thousands by now, and not sound absurd, even if it is true. You pulled me into meta- although the first time you did it, it ended up ficced, which is kind of funny- and everything kind of went on from there. We’ve got strange pairings, Alternate Palace universes, AU’s of the AU’s, backstories, deep angst, kink, baby, we’ve got it all... not that we’ve let anyone see most of it *grin*. And I’ve loved writing all of it... even when you make me write two characters opposite each other in scene, and if I ever manage to actually fic something all on my own, it’ll be because you pushed me to do it in meta, and I’ve learned that it isn’t as scary as all that... even if it’s always more fun co-writing. And no matter what’s happened, you’ve always been there, and that means everything. *hugs tight tight tight*.And finally, the benevolent despot herself:
tarnished_raven: gets the official ‘I deflowered Jay, ask me how!’ button. I am a gleeful and unapologetic fangirl of hers, delight in quoting her work back to her whether she recognizes it or not, and even now, over a year later, I get giddy excited when I know we’ve got an arc planned, or are about to write together. tarnished_raven Thank you. Thank you for writing Palace in the first place, for letting us fingerpaint all over your amazing fic, for giving me oxygen when I was blue from screaming at the rain, for Adrian, because you must have had something to do with making her the amazing person she is, and ... okay, how do I just say thanks for everything, because I wouldn’t even be writing fic if it wasn’t for you? So thank you. Just thank you so fucking much.And so here I am. A year and seventeen days *kicks decision to spend lj anniversary fighting with a troll on metaquotes instead of posting something here* since I started my
linden_jay journal, and, as a side note, this is my one hundredth post in this journal. A year and two weeks since I first posted to rpg_palace as palaceharry. Since those initial two journals, I’ve added:
palace_viggo, palace_scouts, palace_guy, palace_stephen, palace_jay_npc, purebloodminion, Mirror journals on journalfen and GreatestJournal, for a total of (dear God!) ten journals, and one community - palace_outtakes - that I co-mod with darkenheart. I have 2277 conversations archived in Yahoo messenger, and 861 conferences. I have made some of the best friends I’ve ever had in my life, and I’ve had more fun writing and talking and raging and crying and giggling with them then I ever imagined I could. I’ll admit it- I was one of those people who didn’t think you could make real friendships with people you met online. I laughed at people who did, and I thought they were stupid. I was the stupid one. I love you all.
Jay.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-07-23 03:41 am (UTC)Angie
no subject
Date: 2005-07-23 11:58 am (UTC)I love TR and Adrian too.
I'm cute too! Send me candy corn too!!! *bounces, hand stuck in air* Pickmepickme!
Ahem.
Sorry about that. I'm sitll suffering from Candy Corn withdrawals from last Halloween (i have nice American rels who send it down.)
no subject
Date: 2005-07-24 09:21 am (UTC)Happy belated birthday for your LJ and Palace!
no subject
Date: 2005-07-24 11:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-25 09:18 am (UTC)