linden_jay: (Baby is sleeping...shhh...)
Okay, we all knew I wasn't gonna make it to 40 weeks. Next to no twin mums do, and chances are, if you make it to 38, you're going to get served an eviction notice. But my guys decided that even 38 was too long for them, and came a full four weeks early, at 36 weeks and, well. 14 and 21 minutes, respectively.

And if I was planning to do a recap of Life With Twins, of my pregnancy, my labour and delivery, you'd think I'd have done it four weeks ago, when the aliens turned one. But it turns out that when aliens turn one, and you invite a whole bunch of people into town to celebrate the mad event, and you're working a new job and are on day 9 of an 11 day stretch, you don't have the time you'd expect to be able to write a post about how Life With Twins is insane. Because, as it turns out... life with twins is too insane. Go figure.

The other mark of how life with twins is insane is that the birth post that I was going to put up? Never exactly materialized. It's funny how you plan to do things, and life just looks at you, pats you on the head, and tells you that you're just so very pretty. So I'm going to do that now, and I'm going to throw it behind a cut, because if we know me, it'll be long, and if you don't want to read potentially TMI-like details regarding birth? I will not be offended if you don't hop behind the cut. I'll be putting up a proper picture post later where I won't talk about placentas at all, I promise, and if you just want to see cute pictures of the Frog and the Monkey, you can scamper off to there.

So. Twelve months ago today was my due date. But thirteen months ago? I had my aliens. )
linden_jay: (Linden_jay)
[ profile] linden_jay: Created on 2004-07-05 00:59:04 (#3697125), 570 Journal Entries, 2,538 comments received, 4,325 comments posted

Five years ago today, after about five months of lurking and reading, I decided to bite the bullet and create a livejournal. Not that I thought I'd ever use it, but a lot of people were flocking their porn back then (as it was in the beginning, is now and will be forever, amen), and I didn't want to be left out. Three days later, I created my second journal, joined my first RPG (despite never having written a word of fanfic), and met the first in what would become a series of amazingly wonderful and talented people.

I've made friends who I'm still blessed to call mine. I've lost friends who I still miss, some through burning up, some just faded away. I've co-written millions of words (between the games, fic, and meta verses I write in, no, I'm really not exaggerating). I've traveled for hours by bus and by plane to visit people I'd never seen in person before I stepped off the bus/plane. I've talked on the phone or by voice chat to people from across the country, across the continent, and across the globe. And yes, once that resulted in me accidentally dropping into a North Carolina accent while I was at work, which was embarrassing, but still worth it.

If you're wondering why I'm crossposting an entry about my anniverary on livejournal to other journaling systems, it's because this anniversary isn't just about five year on livejournal. It's about five years of community. Five years of the best and the worst of what the internet, fandom, and online friends and enemies can offer. Five years of laughter, tears, grief. Of death, and of birth. It's about friendship, and knowing that wherever I go in the world, there are couches and spare rooms I can sleep on. It's knowing that I've been able to be there for friends when they needed me, and that when I've needed them, my friends, and complete strangers, have stood up for me.

Once upon a time, I didn't understand how people could think that they could make friends online. How could it be real? You could be talking to anyone! And then, five years ago today, I started a journey that taught me just how wrong I was. So today, I just want to say thank you. To everyone I've known, everyone I know now, and everyone I'm going to meet in the future. For good or for bad, you've all changed and enriched my life in ways that I can't even express. And I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for you. All of you.

With much love,

Jay Linden.
linden_jay: (Buffy- Aren't you just going oooo?)
Of course, I'm now kind of wondering how many people will even see this... considering that it's Winchester-eve... but oh well. I can dig it.

So, for those of you who haven't been following along at [ profile] jay_bean, where I've been talking about this whole process a bit more, this might be a bit more unexpected.

I've had an alien infestation. One of those kinds that takes about 9 months or so before they actually... un-infest.

And I say 'they' because there's kind of two of them.

I think I have to go sit down again now.
linden_jay: (Angel-Lindsey- more comfortable)
It's my last week of work at the old job. Of course, because Murphy is a tricky bastard, it's not going to go down without a fight. )

The new job is doing better... )

Real life that is not work is getting slightly more complicated, and slightly more interesting than it has been. Which brings me to the un-cut portion of tonight's post. I've decided to create a journal that will be a little more focused on things of a real life nature. I'll probably still post Jay-related stuff over here as well, or crosspost/link but it's likely to be centered over there.

Some of it may be flocked, most of it won't be, but I'm giving people the option of friending it if they want to read that, since some of the stuff I'm going to be nattering on about over there will have little to do with things fanfic or game related, and some people may not be interested in that. So--yes. If that's something you're interested in, it'll be over at [ profile] jay_bean. Friend, don't friend, lurk, kick back and hang out, whatever you please, but you're welcome.
linden_jay: (Heroes-Sylar-giggles while he bleeds)
As subject lines go, it's rather on the nose, but this time, I think that's okay.

I got the job, glory be, I got the job, and I'm so giddy I could spit!

I'm probably going to be posting about it more, but likely on a filter or at least flocked. If I don't have you friended, or you lurk (says the professional lurker), holler on me, and we'll see about adding you on if that's the sort of thing you'd be interested in reading--the life and times of Jay: International Superclerk. I mean... I get business cards. That's kind of badass.

Okay, not really.

And now--bed. Details later. But for now?

I got the job, I got the job, I got the job!!!
linden_jay: (Safeword)

Okay, wait. Stop. Rewind. I've ALMOST got a new job.

It's pending a couple of things--I have to pass an exam for a course I've never taken on this computer program I've been using all year, and I have to have an interview with the principal of the program, BUT--assuming those two things go all right (and considering that the principal called my mother--who also works in the district--to be all giddy over getting me, I'm pretty hopeful there)? I HAVE A NEW JOB!

- Fifteen more hours a week.
- Higher wage
- Possible overtime
- BENEFITS. Including dental, medication, glasses... the works.
- Doing new and different things, actually getting to LEARN stuff, instead of what I've been doing in the library which is fun (sometimes), but so easy it numbs my brain.
- No evil overlord.

I've got a week to study, and I write the exam next week. Please to be wishing me luck because


Jay's Nana

Apr. 12th, 2008 05:06 pm
linden_jay: (Candle)
This is Ash posting on Jay's behalf. I got a text message from her. Her Nana passed, in her sleep, at 2pm PST this afternoon. Thank you to everyone for their thoughts and prayers.
linden_jay: (Candle)
It's not going to be long. Months turned into weeks, which is rapidly turning into days or less. Everyone in the family is being called, we've got doctors and nurses and hospice people making house calls, and we've got some of the strongest cough medicine known to man to try and get her to stop going into spasms. She's on the top of the waiting list to get into the hospice program, but I don't think we've got that long. And if we did, I don't know how we'd move her.

She's very agitated right now, although we're working on it, and the only time she cried was when the nurse told her that she thought Nana needed to be back in the hospital. We're going to try everything humanly possible to keep that from happening. It's the only thing she's asked for, and if at all possible, we want to honour that.

I don't know when I'll be around. Please keep thinking of us.
linden_jay: (Jay and the AH)
The Academic Husband is spending the night in the hospital, after a day of being sick, then an evening in the ER.

He's having a problem with his lower intestine, and they're having to do some more tests to figure out exactly what it is, and what they need to do about it. Nurses and doctors don't make a lot of sense to me when they're trying to explain things at midnight, and they don't yet know anything but what it might be, all of which are words with a lot of syllables. They'll know more tomorrow, and tomorrow he's also having a consultation with a surgeon, so that'll mean they know even more.

On a lighter note, highlights from the evening include:

- The (male) nurse who looked and sounded exactly like Mohinder Suresh from Heroes. Seriously, it was almost eerie.

- AH being asked what day it was when they were judging how coherent he was (after giving him IV gravol, hello), and him going off on a tangent about it being the Ides of March. Even while on drugs, the history scholar in him runs deep. The nurse just kind of let him ramble for a bit, then looked at me, raised an eyebrow, and said "so, that gravol kicked in, huh?" 'Yes. Yes it did,' said I.

And on a making-me-sniffle note, there was the AH--as we were waiting for him to stop being sick for long enough for me to get him in the car and drive him to the hospital--APOLOGIZING for spoiling my evening by making me take him to the hospital. Bless his heart. That's the boy I love.

Please think good thoughts for him.
linden_jay: (Jay and the AH)
This is always true, but I'm just reminded of it as I sit here with my wet hair still piled up underneath a towel. One that he gave me for my last birthday.

One that is a Pirates of the Caribbean towel that he bought just for me because he thought that the 'rendering of Orlando Bloom as Will Turner was actually pretty accurate, and he knows how much I like him'.

I love my boy.


Jan. 26th, 2008 12:35 am
linden_jay: (Heroes- Just a paper salesman)
Just dropping in quicklike to let you guys know that I'm here, I'm safe, and dear lord on toast do I hate the bus. It was a long, boring, tiring trip, cramped and boring and I had to share a seat with an overly perky psychology major. Honestly, does it not make sense that if a person is wearing earphones and there's sound coming from them, they're not interested in chatterating? Apparently it wasn't clear. SIGH.

It was mostly okay though, I suppose. I'm not looking forward to the trip back, mostly because there's a HUGE fucking snowstorm on the way. This part of the province are almost as wimpy as those of you in Southern Places where it doesn't snow (Jess). A few inches and they freak. Which makes it not too much fun.

But I'm here, my sister's well, and we spent the night chatting while I made fun of reality television. Standard, really.

I miss my home. And my boy. And my cattens. And my boy. And my people. And my boy.
linden_jay: (Balian drums are calling)
Okay, so this is off with me. In... roughly twelve hours I'll be in Vancouver, being picked up by my sister at the bus depot. Joy. How do I love buses? (Hint? Not even a little bit.)

The funeral service is tomorrow afternoon, then I'll be leaving early Sunday morning and back home early Sunday evening. Roughly sixteen hours of bus travel in a thirty-six-or-so hour period. Eesh.

Thank you to everyone for your good thoughts. It means a lot--truly.

See you in a few days.

linden_jay: (Stage manager = God)
When I was doing theatre, there was a set of twins who were two years below me. In their first year, I worked a show with me, and they just utterly impressed me, all the way through. They were smart, they were committed, they were dedicated. I worked three shows with the pair of them that year, and I told them that the next year, when I got to stage manage my own show, I wanted them on the team as ASM's--assistant stage managers.

This was more or less unheard of, since second year students did get to ASM, but they weren't plucked out of first year to do it. They were worth it. One of them was a genius when it came to lighting and organization... excellent at keeping me on track. The other--Ali--was a real stage manager in the making... good with actors, good with crew, a dream to work with.

Ali just died of a heart attack. She was twenty-six. Apparently a virus attacked her heart, and she suffered a series of heart attacks, and they lost her.

I'll be going to the service next weekend. And at some point, I'll probably let myself grieve, but right now I'm too mad. Twenty-six year olds don't die of heart attacks. Thirty year olds don't die of pneumonia. Except that they do.

The fates? Just made my list.


Jan. 13th, 2008 12:42 pm
linden_jay: (Kitty Pile)
I promised pictures of kittens, and while it always takes me awhile, sooner or later I get to it!

Pictures of Snafu, Fubar, and Tarfun behind the cut... )
linden_jay: (Daniel Craig does not give a damn)
Ohhh such an oversleeping headache. 13 hours, what the fuck? Apparently I needed it, but still--damn. I'll be sleep-hungover all day.

Also, I have a massive list of shit-to-do that I've barely even started on, so there's that. My main problem is that I'm so used to being able to multitask that when it comes to something that you really can only do that at one time it kind of irritates me. This is probably one of the main reasons why I really don't solo fic.

Either way, today I have things to beta, things to edit, things to organize, things to post, things to tag, logs to start, and many, many things to knit or crochet. Plus I have various theatre related nonsense for Romeo and Juliet that has to be done.

Big day. Gonna need a Pepsi. And some Tylenol. Oof.

In other news, I have a new/used TV that is so big it frightens me, and it's snowing outside. So, not really so bad, on the whole.

Pepsi. Now.
linden_jay: (SGA- Sheppard Monkey-bitchface)
3:28 am. Why am I not asleep?

Okay, I could be rational and come up with real reasons. I've been sleeping later because it's vacation, so it's harder for me to go asleep. And the AH had to go away on a research trip for almost a week, and I never sleep well when he's not here.

But at least this time it's not because he was gone and I started watching Criminal Minds, Bones, and Dexter, and then freaked out that I was going to be murdered in some particularly gruesome and grisly way. Honestly. I really should know better. I watched The West Wing all afternoon while I crocheted, and then I switched over to Heroes commentary tracks once I finally got tired of pretend American policy.

But it's practically dawn, ferchrisakes, and I'm still awake, and I'm barely even tired. And I have to be up in time to take the kitten to the vet for 8:30am to get fixed. Something tells me I'm going to be grabbing a nap on the couch, then coming home and taking a nap. UGH.

So... it's the new year. To be honest, apart from a few highlights, 2007 licked. A hell of a lot. I'd be tempting fate to say that 2008 couldn't be worse than 2007, so I'm not going to go there, but I'm just really glad to have closed the lid on 2007 and to be moving on to something else. Maybe I'll do one of those year in review thingies later, but for right now? Imma go faceplant on the couch with an armful of kitten and hope that helps.
linden_jay: (Balian drums are calling)
So. This is the other side of Christmas. It makes me sleepy, but not tired. Thank goodness I've got two weekends and a full week before I have to go back to work.

Christmas was... I guess it kind of just 'was'. Things were quiet, and hard sometimes, but all right. We made it through, and no one tried to force anyone to be all jolly when they weren't in the mood for it, which was a serious blessing. I don't think I would have taken that particularly well. The hardest parts were being at my inlaws place, with all of the Academic Husband's cousins around. All around and about the same age as Caelin, all happy and, well, alive. Which of course is a good thing, it just made me miss what I don't have anymore, which was hard. Also, my aunt and Caelin's sister decided that I should have the cowboy hat that was passed down to Caelin from our Grandfather, and it was given to me as a Christmas present. That almost started me crying. I'll have to post a picture of the hat sometime.

I didn't get much of a chance to be online over Christmas, and I kind of kept myself from posting or commenting, since I really didn't feel like being the person who brought people down. It was kind of like that in person too... I just let everything be quiet and kind of happen around me for a few days, and stayed on the periphery. Low-key.

Things still haven't hit. I can feel it somewhere in the background waiting to smack me upside the head, but I've been pushing it off and pushing it off since it happened. I don't know if I can say that I 'like' my denial, but I just haven't been ready to let go of it yet. I know it will happen when it does, whether I want it to or not. I'm just trying to be patient with myself right now.

I probably should be cutting this since it's getting a little long, and I'm about to get politely preachy, but this is important enough to me that I hope you'll all indulge me this time, since I'm usually nice and kind to flists, cutwise. For anyone this refers to, please don't take it personally, or as though I'm lecturing you or trying to guilt you, just as a soft and gentle plea.

If you smoke? Please try to stop. I'm marked by my experiences, I know. I watched my grandfather die at 67, perfectly healthy in every other way but for the emphysema that had ravaged his lungs. I'm now watching my grandmother live out her senior years alone, missing him, and I'm trying to forget those last two days of watching him in the hospital, fighting for every breath. I think it was pneumonia that took him as well, like Caelin.

I know you've all listened to me talk about him, you know that he was only 30. He'd smoked for half his life, and between that, his asthma, and the fumes from the pulp mill in the town he lived in, the way he wheezed when he talked, he sounded like a man twice his age. We've been told that the pneumonia that killed him was exacerbated by the fact that he smoked, and its painful to us to know that maybe, just maybe, we didn't have to lose him.

As I said, this isn't meant to be guilt, and I sure as fuck know that quitting isn't an easy thing to do, for any number of reasons. But think about it, won't you please? For yourselves, and for the people who love you and want to keep you with them.

*steps off soapbox, and turns off the lights*


Dec. 15th, 2007 05:34 pm
linden_jay: (Candle)
I'm in the hotel in Kamloops on a spotty internet connection that I'm pillaging from the bar and grill downstairs, so we'll see if I actually manage to send this properly.

The service was very, very hard. I stayed clear of pretty much everyone before hand because every time I saw Caelin's mom or sister or his girlfriend, I started to break down, and I was sharing the eulogy with my mother. Somehow, I managed to hold it together to speak, which I'm really glad I was able to do. That meant a lot to me, being able to talk about him and remember him.

For those who I haven't been able to tell, my cousin died from bronchial pneumonia. I don't know for certain, but I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't even know he had it. He had asthma, he smoked, and it was winter, plus the injections he was taking for pain control made him very congested. He went to sleep, and he never woke up.

I've been keeping myself in a state of intentional denial in the days leading up to the service today, knowing that I couldn't let myself break down because I had to speak. The service is over now, and I'm not sure where that leaves me. The goal I've been working toward is passed, and now all there is to do is keep going in a world he's not a part of any more. Right now, that seems really, really hard.

Thank you to everyone who's sent messages of support, talked to me, kept me and my family in your thoughts and prayers. It means so, so much. More than I can ever say.
linden_jay: (Supernatural- Boy hands communicating)
THE RULES: (My WORD this is a bossy meme. No manners.)

1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favourite lyric to your current favourite song. Or your favourite kind of sandwich. Something random. Whatever you like.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better. (Or just to totally mess with you and ask you weird assed shit I feel like knowing... whatever.)
3. You WILL update your LJ with the answers to the questions. (Or, y'know... post the answers here, whatever floats your boat. Geez, meme, what's with all the ass-caps?)
4. You will include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post. (see above re: If you bloody well feel like it.)
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions. (Well, it is a meme, so if you're going to post it, I suppose it makes sense that you want to ask people questions, but still... BOSSY.)

In other words--in classic Jay tradition--do this meme if you please, and if you please alone. Ask me for questions, answer them here, your journal, wherever you please. Also, if you want to ask me questions as well, go right ahead!

My answered questions from:

apetslife )

tjournal )

fiercy )
linden_jay: (Jay doll)
It really does feel kind of surreal, honestly. I fought getting a journal for a good... well, since about February of that year, which was when I found fanfic. I didn't see a point in having a journal--I didn't think I'd ever use it. I didn't write, I didn't even beta, and I was too shy to leave feedback or comments, even anonymously.

Apparently some things changed. Quickly too. Within two days, I'd joined a roleplaying game, even though I'd never written so much as a line of fanfic. I made friends in that game who I'm still close to today, people who I can't imagine not knowing, people I'm still writing with even. And that game led to others, to new writing partners and friends and a whole community that I feel lucky to be a part of.

It still blows my mind how many things changed all starting from that one simple act--Jay's first livejournal. The people I've met, the things I've learned, the books and music and TV and film and cultures and experiences that I'd never even have thought about or looked twice at that have been delivered here, right to my metaphorical door, opening my mind and my heart and my world.

Some things haven't changed. I'm still too shy most of the time to comment or leave feedback, anonymously, or with any of the well over a dozen journals I've got now. But I'm so, so glad that I'm here. Even when I don't peep my head out to tell people so.

I'm a better person, a more interesting and complex, thoughtful and happy person, for having known you all. So thank you, all of you, so much for that.

Love, Jay.


linden_jay: (Default)

February 2012

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