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linden_jayI dread being scheduled to work Wednesdays. Well, I dread Thursdays too... and Friday... pretty much any day that ends in a ‘Y’. But Wednesdays are particularly gruesome if you work at a Famous Players Cinema, because of one thing *cue low ominous music*
Famous Babies.
Once a week- one day, one show, at 1:00pm- we have a show that is our ‘Famous Babies’ presentation. The short form is that we take one (usually new) show, lower the sound levels, leave the side lights up on one side, throw in a change table and some complimentary diapers and a garbage can, and market it as a “baby friendly” show for parents of very little ones to come and bring the wee one along, without the worry of disturbing a non-baby friendly audience.
The theory is that providing this one show and show time per week, people will take advantage of it and less people will bring infants to other shows, stay in, and get people complaining about them. Plus- it boosts sales on a Wednesday matinee, which is a typically pretty slow day. And since the show plays four times a day, seven days a week, surely if people are completely unwilling to see the show with the babies and baby friendly features, they could see it one of the other twenty-seven times it plays that week.
Or, y’know... not.
Players:
- Jay, your ray of fucking sunshine
- the man with the mullet that ate Toronto.
[Mullet Man]: “Gimme two tickets to the good ol’ boys at one o’clock!”
[Jay]: *uses rapid deduction to determine that he means ‘The Dukes of Hazzard’... cos I really don’t think that’s what people are calling the Oompa Loompa’s these days.* “Certainly, sir- but just to let you know, that’s our Famous Babies show time this week, and -“
[Mullet]: “I don’t got no babies.”
[Jay]: Oh this is so not going to go well. “That’s fine, but this show has a few special features for people who do have babies, and-“
[Mullet]: “What the hell you talkin’ ‘bout, girlie- babies don’t wanna see the Dukes!”
[Jay]: “Well, it’s not for the babies, sir, it’s for the parents bringing them.” Y’know, so the poor bastards can actually see a movie they might like to see instead of having to watch Madagascar for the 73 time “We lower the sound and leave lights on alone the side to make it more comfortable for the babies, however.”
[Mullet]: “You leave all the lights on and turn the sound off? How the hell are ya supposed to watch the movie!”
[Jay]: “The lights are off in the house- they’re just lit on the one side, and the sound is low, not off.”
[Mullet]: *looking doubtful* “Well, I dunno... they’re gonna take them babies out if they start fussin’, right? I don’t want my movie spoiled by no babies.”
[Jay]: *takes a deep breath, prepares* “Ordinarily, we do ask that people remove their children if they’re causing a disturbance, but since this show is set up specifically for people to come and bring their babies... we don’t require it.” ((Incidently- I really do speak this formally tocustomers (guests! We’re supposed to call them guests!) Guests if they’re being like this... it’s the only way I can keep myself from laughing))
[Mullet]: “WHAT! I gotta pay my money and listen to some baby holler? Screw that- this is all BULL shit! Why do you gotta do this stupid fucking baby nonsense... takin’ babies to see the Dukes... dumb fucking... “ *mutter mutter mutter, finally walks away*
Now, repeat that for the entire pre-sell for whatever the Famous babies movie is, and recycle it a few times per day every week... sometimes with slightly less mullet. I mean, really- with twelve theatres running four shows a day, that’s 336 shows in a week. Let the babies have ONE!
A few more, while we’re at it:
-To the mom who left a diaper in the auditorium under the seat- open your fucking eyes... see that- over there? That’s a change table and a garbage can. Use it! I’m not nearly well paid enough to go crawling around on the floor, fishing your sprat’s diaper out from under the seats with my bare hands... especially since there’s- oh look- a change table and garbage can not ten metres away!
-Again re: said garbage can- don’t leave full diapers and used baby wipes on the top of the change table instead of throwing them away- on what fucking planet is that acceptable behavior!
- And to the group of moms who come in every week and hang around for fifteen minutes after the show ends, talking and giggling, taking turns changing diapers and talking about the movie- Get. The. Fuck. Out. They’ve cut back on our operating hours back here but are still showing four shows per theatre in a day, which means way less time between shows, which means way less time to get the theatre cleaned before the next group wants in. Get. Out. Go to a coffee shop or some place if you want to visit, but you paid to see a movie, and the movie is done now, so Buh fucking bye.
(Strangely enough, the group that we have the least complaint about here is the babies. The overwhelming majority of them are quiet, crashing right as the previews starting up, and hardly making a peep until the lights come up again. If only we could get that kind of behavior out of the adults!)
[Cross posted to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
customers_suck]
Famous Babies.
Once a week- one day, one show, at 1:00pm- we have a show that is our ‘Famous Babies’ presentation. The short form is that we take one (usually new) show, lower the sound levels, leave the side lights up on one side, throw in a change table and some complimentary diapers and a garbage can, and market it as a “baby friendly” show for parents of very little ones to come and bring the wee one along, without the worry of disturbing a non-baby friendly audience.
The theory is that providing this one show and show time per week, people will take advantage of it and less people will bring infants to other shows, stay in, and get people complaining about them. Plus- it boosts sales on a Wednesday matinee, which is a typically pretty slow day. And since the show plays four times a day, seven days a week, surely if people are completely unwilling to see the show with the babies and baby friendly features, they could see it one of the other twenty-seven times it plays that week.
Or, y’know... not.
Players:
- Jay, your ray of fucking sunshine
- the man with the mullet that ate Toronto.
[Mullet Man]: “Gimme two tickets to the good ol’ boys at one o’clock!”
[Jay]: *uses rapid deduction to determine that he means ‘The Dukes of Hazzard’... cos I really don’t think that’s what people are calling the Oompa Loompa’s these days.* “Certainly, sir- but just to let you know, that’s our Famous Babies show time this week, and -“
[Mullet]: “I don’t got no babies.”
[Jay]: Oh this is so not going to go well. “That’s fine, but this show has a few special features for people who do have babies, and-“
[Mullet]: “What the hell you talkin’ ‘bout, girlie- babies don’t wanna see the Dukes!”
[Jay]: “Well, it’s not for the babies, sir, it’s for the parents bringing them.” Y’know, so the poor bastards can actually see a movie they might like to see instead of having to watch Madagascar for the 73 time “We lower the sound and leave lights on alone the side to make it more comfortable for the babies, however.”
[Mullet]: “You leave all the lights on and turn the sound off? How the hell are ya supposed to watch the movie!”
[Jay]: “The lights are off in the house- they’re just lit on the one side, and the sound is low, not off.”
[Mullet]: *looking doubtful* “Well, I dunno... they’re gonna take them babies out if they start fussin’, right? I don’t want my movie spoiled by no babies.”
[Jay]: *takes a deep breath, prepares* “Ordinarily, we do ask that people remove their children if they’re causing a disturbance, but since this show is set up specifically for people to come and bring their babies... we don’t require it.” ((Incidently- I really do speak this formally to
[Mullet]: “WHAT! I gotta pay my money and listen to some baby holler? Screw that- this is all BULL shit! Why do you gotta do this stupid fucking baby nonsense... takin’ babies to see the Dukes... dumb fucking... “ *mutter mutter mutter, finally walks away*
Now, repeat that for the entire pre-sell for whatever the Famous babies movie is, and recycle it a few times per day every week... sometimes with slightly less mullet. I mean, really- with twelve theatres running four shows a day, that’s 336 shows in a week. Let the babies have ONE!
A few more, while we’re at it:
-To the mom who left a diaper in the auditorium under the seat- open your fucking eyes... see that- over there? That’s a change table and a garbage can. Use it! I’m not nearly well paid enough to go crawling around on the floor, fishing your sprat’s diaper out from under the seats with my bare hands... especially since there’s- oh look- a change table and garbage can not ten metres away!
-Again re: said garbage can- don’t leave full diapers and used baby wipes on the top of the change table instead of throwing them away- on what fucking planet is that acceptable behavior!
- And to the group of moms who come in every week and hang around for fifteen minutes after the show ends, talking and giggling, taking turns changing diapers and talking about the movie- Get. The. Fuck. Out. They’ve cut back on our operating hours back here but are still showing four shows per theatre in a day, which means way less time between shows, which means way less time to get the theatre cleaned before the next group wants in. Get. Out. Go to a coffee shop or some place if you want to visit, but you paid to see a movie, and the movie is done now, so Buh fucking bye.
(Strangely enough, the group that we have the least complaint about here is the babies. The overwhelming majority of them are quiet, crashing right as the previews starting up, and hardly making a peep until the lights come up again. If only we could get that kind of behavior out of the adults!)
[Cross posted to
customers_suck]
