I'm tired of being terrified of every baby sneeze.

I remember when baby sneezes were cute. Kind of wee tiny and precious and adorable. That lasts as long as them getting their first icky disgusting head cold. Which, okay, they're mostly better now--no fevers, not so congested that they can't function, but they're still coughing, and there's still STUFF. It's like they're little ticking time bombs of gross. Look at them wrong, and they EXPLODE.

And of course, their little noses are sore, so trying to mop them up with a tissue or a cloth, no matter how gentle, produces shrieks so loud that any minute now someone is going to knock on my door and ask me what on earth I am DOING to those children you horrible woman.

This is my world right now. Grumpy, post-cold, current-disgusting children who think sleep and tissues should be outlawed under the Geneva Convention. The next person that tells me that having twins must be so much fun/omg, I wish I had twins/it can't be that much harder than a single baby? They're getting kicked in the shins.

With steel toed boots. I'm just saying.