linden_jay: (Baby is sleeping...shhh...)
Okay, we all knew I wasn't gonna make it to 40 weeks. Next to no twin mums do, and chances are, if you make it to 38, you're going to get served an eviction notice. But my guys decided that even 38 was too long for them, and came a full four weeks early, at 36 weeks and, well. 14 and 21 minutes, respectively.

And if I was planning to do a recap of Life With Twins, of my pregnancy, my labour and delivery, you'd think I'd have done it four weeks ago, when the aliens turned one. But it turns out that when aliens turn one, and you invite a whole bunch of people into town to celebrate the mad event, and you're working a new job and are on day 9 of an 11 day stretch, you don't have the time you'd expect to be able to write a post about how Life With Twins is insane. Because, as it turns out... life with twins is too insane. Go figure.

The other mark of how life with twins is insane is that the birth post that I was going to put up? Never exactly materialized. It's funny how you plan to do things, and life just looks at you, pats you on the head, and tells you that you're just so very pretty. So I'm going to do that now, and I'm going to throw it behind a cut, because if we know me, it'll be long, and if you don't want to read potentially TMI-like details regarding birth? I will not be offended if you don't hop behind the cut. I'll be putting up a proper picture post later where I won't talk about placentas at all, I promise, and if you just want to see cute pictures of the Frog and the Monkey, you can scamper off to there.

So. Twelve months ago today was my due date. But thirteen months ago? I had my aliens. )
linden_jay: (Default)
I've been commenting in a lot of places over the past few days, and I've friended a few new people, and I realized that I don't have one of those handy 'all about me' posts to give people the quick 'who is this person?' details about who's just shown up to babble in their journal. So I'm gonna do that now.

Jay Linden used to be my 'oh my god, you're a total freak' name. As in, someone would approach me, be a total freak, and ask for my name, and this was the name I gave out automatically. It was an obvious choice when I came onto live journal, where being a freak is kind of the order of the day and all.... )
linden_jay: (Leverage- Hardison can't hack a hick)
1) I am tired. Raise your hand if you're shocked. Really, I need to find a new #1 thing to whine about, but it's just so, well. True.

2) The aliens have been getting slightly better about sleeping now that they're not sick anymore, but that didn't stop them from having a truly epically wretched night last night. Poor Monkey kept falling asleep and waking up in hysterics, like she was having nightmares, and the Frog was just completely stubborn and Do Not Want as regards sleep. I blame it on them having shit naps on Sunday in the daytime. Hopefully I can break the cycle if I can get them down for two good naps today.

3) Work continues to be... interesting. I only get one more training shift at my actual job before I'm all on my own on a weekend *cue panic*. I left a note for my boss that said I didn't feel ready and that I'd like one more training shift before my last training shift, but he never called me back. Which leads me to:

4) Work has called me three times already today. At nine am. NINE AM. 1) I have babies, and 2), dude, I know I didn't work last night, but I work the night shift. Who calls someone who works the night shift at nine am!?!?! The first was to ask me about my tax forms (which I left in a pile with the note that never got answered, so clearly he didn't find those), the second was to ask me for my Social Insurance Number, and the third was to ask me for my birthday. This is all for my paycheque, so y'know. I'll take the calls, but he better not have been kidding when he promised not to call again today.

5) I am on episode 12 of Season Two of Doctor Who. I have been warned by [livejournal.com profile] ashinae that my opinions re: some things/characters/whatnot might be considered heretical in circles, so I will tread carefully until I know what kind of Whosits I have on my flist. I will say this though--watching Doctor Who? Making Torchwood make OH so very much more sense.

6) It may be Monday, but I have hot chocolate, three cattens curled up on my bed, and napping aliens. I'll take that as a win, for now.
linden_jay: (Not enough Pepsi in the world...)
... I got the job. Part-time for now. I start tonight. At 11pm. And the babies are flat-out refusing to take a nap so that I can nap too, after being worn out by the ER trip and very little sleep last night due to sick, hacking baby whose antibiotics haven't kicked in yet.

I predict that this will be a day wherein there is not enough Pepsi in the universe, let alone the world.

But- I got the job! Yay me!
linden_jay: (Baby is calm.)
Well. That was a giant clusterfuck of a night.

My parents always take the aliens on Wednesday evening... go for a walk in the stroller, show the babies off at Safeway, whatever, and they were worried about how wheezy The Frog was, and how badly he was coughing, and I decided okay, no more screwing around, and I took him to the walk in clinic. I figure that we go in, they say 'oh, it's a virus, blah blah blah' like the last two times, I go home, and I've just wasted some time, but gotten some peace of mind.

We got in, saw the doc, who'd been able to hear him coughing in the waiting room from way in the back, and she took one look at him, a quick listen to his breathing, and said that considering what time of night it was, and not being able to get to a pediatrician until tomorrow, she didn't want to screw around, so she sent us right to the ER. This is what happens when you've got an ear that looks red and horrible, and are coughing and wheezing like a smoker with a fifty year habit.

I stopped at home, grabbed a bag for him and myself, and went to the hospital. They treated him with Ventolin by mask, and checked his lungs in an hour, which were perfectly clear. He has congestion in the upper airway, complicated by a massive ear infection, which I can't believe hasn't had him screaming his fool head off. My wee one is a trooper.

We are now home with a prescription for antibiotics for his ear, an inhaler, and I swear, the phone number of every nurse and doctor (men and women) in that ER. He charmed them all. They thought he was awesome. I think it was the peekaboo with his blanket that put him over the top, plus the part where he only cried once, when the doctor looked in his ears.

So. Yeah. That was fun. *falls down goes boom*
linden_jay: (Baby is sleeping...shhh...)
It's been a full week since my interview, I've heard nothing yet, and they're still running the ad in the paper. I'm really not sure what to take from that... or what the policy is for what someone should do, in this eventuality. Is a follow-up email appropriate? Assuming I could find an email address to even write to. Gah. This is why I hate looking for work. Just hire me, people! I'm awesome! I will bring the internets to vouch for me! I'm organized and all kinds of shiny... can the people in my RPG who have seen my dorktastic organizational skills be my reference? Perhaps not.

The Frog and Monkey are mostly over the cold/flu/respiratory virus of doom, except that the Frog is still coughing his little lungs out. All night. Which wakes him up even more than usual, which wakes me up even more than usual. I can't tell if my sore throat is just a protest of the seasonal change and lack of sleep, or if I'm getting sick...er. Since I don't know that I ever got over being sick in the first place.

It's kind of ridiculous the stuff that happens while under the influence of lack of sleep. I know that the Frog woke me up at sometime past 5:00am. I know that I took him to bed with me and we both fell back asleep. I know that I did not put him back in his crib. I have no memory record of the Academic Husband coming in and relieving me of the Frog. So, at some point, he came in and like, literally took my wee one out of my arms and spirited away with him... and I do not remember this at all. One hopes that if it were someone, y'know, OTHER than my husband doing that, I would remember it. SIGH.

*thump*

Apr. 14th, 2010 11:03 am
linden_jay: (Otter is sleepy)
That's the sound of me hitting the floor. Ergh.

Know what's unfair? Having to be charming and intelligent in an interview on less than two hours of sleep. Oh. I had an interview. Did I mention that I had an interview? Because I had an interview. My maternity leave only covers me until mid-May, and I won't go back to work at my really job until September, and the boy's work will start to seriously slow down in June, so... job. Even though I don't want to go back to work. I want to stay home with my babies until they go to school. Why can't the world be like that? It's nofe air.

So yes. Interview. For a hotel. Which I said I'd never work at again, and yet, the ad came up in the paper, and I answered it. I think the interview went well. I think I talked too much, but that's nothing new, and at least this time I managed to keep from doing my worst ever thing I do in interviews when I get nervous--interrupting the person who's interviewing me. I mean, WTF, Jay! Way to self-sabotage!

I'll know something by the end of the week, and while I really don't want to work... I do want the job. So, think happy thoughts for me? Please?

*crashes*
linden_jay: (Otter is sleepy)
Sigh. The Frog did not sleep. I know, right? Shock. He's still sick, still snotty, and I think he keeps trying to breathe through his nose in the middle of the night, not being able to do it, and freaking himself out into a coughing fit because of it. Every. 45. to. 90. Minutes. Good grief on toast.

You know it's bad when the babies are so tired and snarky that they can't get through a bowl of applesauce. Take a bite, lip tremble, SOB. Only an hour after they wake up. Okay, back to bed for you. Never mind that Mummy hasn't slept yet, that's immaterial! Clearly we need a nap! Except... why are you bouncing in your crib? Two minutes ago you were so tired you were rubbing apple sauce in your eyes and hair... and now you're bouncing? WOT? That makes NO SENSE.

Babies are freaks, man. Also possibly evil.

I was already prepared for today to suck. I'm a month away from running out of maternity leave (I know, cry moar you Canadian, with your year long paid maternity leave), but that means that I need to find more work. Because my job won't start up again until September, because that's when the new school year starts.

There are two things I hate more than anything in the world: doing the cold call walk in the door and drop off a resume thing, and training for a new job once I get the new job. HATE HATE HATE. I hate not being good at things. I hate the fucking up until you get it right stage. Plus, I'm convinced that my resume looks like it was put together by a particularly intelligent Shi-tzu.

I think that I don't hear babies. Oh please, please let me be right. I am so tired.
linden_jay: (Get Fuzzy- Dear Lord Make it stop)
I remember when baby sneezes were cute. Kind of wee tiny and precious and adorable. That lasts as long as them getting their first icky disgusting head cold. Which, okay, they're mostly better now--no fevers, not so congested that they can't function, but they're still coughing, and there's still STUFF. It's like they're little ticking time bombs of gross. Look at them wrong, and they EXPLODE.

And of course, their little noses are sore, so trying to mop them up with a tissue or a cloth, no matter how gentle, produces shrieks so loud that any minute now someone is going to knock on my door and ask me what on earth I am DOING to those children you horrible woman.

This is my world right now. Grumpy, post-cold, current-disgusting children who think sleep and tissues should be outlawed under the Geneva Convention. The next person that tells me that having twins must be so much fun/omg, I wish I had twins/it can't be that much harder than a single baby? They're getting kicked in the shins.

With steel toed boots. I'm just saying.
linden_jay: (Frog and Monkey)
Why? Because this is my wee frog, who is still supposed to be a tiny baby and not growing up and getting ready for y'know, his own car, and university, and dating, and whatever, but here he is, at ten months, sixteen days, and he's standing, all by himself.



*does [livejournal.com profile] iharthdarth BREATHE*

I'm not ready! Where did my tiny wee alien who left the hospital at under five pounds go?

And you know, his sister's not far behind him. Look!



I think I really do need to go lie down. Or have a drink. Or a cry. My babies are growing up!

*awesome Hollywood t-shirt from [livejournal.com profile] sabrinagb

**awesome monkey dress from [livejournal.com profile] ashinae


A few more GIANT ALIEN pictures behind the cut... )
linden_jay: (Canadian Money)
Anyone want to guess what I've been watching? I know, I'm Canadian and this is the first time I'm actually watching Due South, which I think [livejournal.com profile] apetslife has been trying to pimp me into for even longer than the Fast and Furious franchise. I'm about halfway into my second disc, in the middle of an episode where there is a baby and a baby faced Mark Ruffalo, and this episode is making me SAD. Because however it ends up, it's going to be sad in some way and I don't ever like adoption storylines because it just... something always feels sad about the whole thing, whichever way the adoption goes. Which I suppose is realistic. I just don't have to like it. SAD.

But. Still. I have questions. Questions which the Due South people will have to answer for me, as I am, of course, very late coming to this party.

Fetish mounties? In 1994? )

In unrelated to that news, the babies are both disgustingly sick. Frog's worse than Monkey right now, with the head cold to beat all head colds, combined with a truly disgusting cough. I'm still not even going to get into the colours of what's coming out of their noses, except gross. I've had a humidifier going in the nursery around the clock, to the point that I hear white noise every time I close my eyes. I've clearly watched too much SPN because it's freaking me out. Still. Poor wee ones.

So if you don't see me right now, it's because I'm packing around wee aliens who are doing their best to wipe every yucky thing coming out of their noses and mouths on every shirt I own. Pray for me.
linden_jay: (Candle)
I wonder if I went back and did a check, how often I'd find that as the lead up phrase in any post I write? Probably it would just depress me if I found out the answer to that. I haven't slept yet--at all--and I still need to go out shopping for jeans, go to a physio appointment, and then--joy of joys--I will be taking the babies on their first airplane ride as we go to visit my grandmother and aunt for a week. My mother's coming with me, I'm not so totally insane to fly with two not-quite-ten-month-olds on my own.

I'll be gone for the better part of a week, and I won't have much access to the internet, although I will be at least checking email, so if anyone needs to get a hold of me, use that, or contact [livejournal.com profile] fiercy or [livejournal.com profile] ashinae. They can track me down.

This has been a really tough week for a lot of people I care about. I'm crossposting this, and of course many of you already know this all too well, but for those who don't, we lost [livejournal.com profile] lunasv to cancer this past week. I have thoughts, and I'm trying to get them in coherent order, and if I do, before I go, I'll post them. For now, I have two things to say. I respected [livejournal.com profile] lunasv deeply, as a writer, as a person, as a mother, and as a friend, and I wish very much that I'd known her better. The second is, in the words of [livejournal.com profile] apetslife, fuck cancer. Fuck it so hard. I know that's not a positive or uplifting thought, and I'm usually better at those, but I'm so tired of losing people to it.

Take care of each other, and be good to yourselves. Be at peace.
linden_jay: (Jayne- I could get nekkid)
Babies are evil, sleep is non-existent. Oh well, at least my current issues are ecologically sound. I'm recycling.

The Monkey also has nasty diaper rash, which seems to be bothering me more than it's bothering her, at least in the sense that I want it to go away, and she doesn't seem to be all that in pain or itchy because of it. However, since it has currently refused to respond to the fistfuls of zinc cream I've put on it, we're trying something new.

Leave the baby naked.

I can sense that some of you are seeing some flaws with this plan. First of all... it's winter. Second of all... the baby is not wearing a diaper. Yeah. I know. This is gonna be a fun couple of days.

The one positive in all of this? She thinks that getting to be naked=Christmas and her birthday all wrapped up in one. So, at least she's happy.
linden_jay: (Elmo and Grover hate thread)
Oh, how I loathe the insomnia nights. Particularly when the Academic Husband is going on a very well earned and deserved vacation for the next four days, and I will be on my own with the aliens. Oh, and they are like, *this* close to a) teething and b) crawling. Oh, yeah. This is gonna be a fun few days.

So, instead since apparently there is no freakin' way that I'm gonna be sleeping from now until the babies wake up (has my sleeping-through-crying-babies-related-PTSD subsided enough for me to take a nap during their morning one? LETS FIND OUT!), I'm gonna get listy. 'Cause we all know there's nothing I like quite so much as a nice little list, to paraphrase one Jeremy Goodwin. Below will be thinky thoughts, and possibly spoilers.

Books I've read in 2010: )

Orphan at my Door )

Faith and Fidelity )

The Commitment )

Movies I've watched in 2010: )

Karla )

Ask Not )

TV I've watched in 2010: )

Glee )
linden_jay: (Kitten- shite)
Fuck.

So, yeah. We've had family visiting this weekend, and that's been stressful, as well as completely blowing any sleep schedule that the babies have to shit, not that they take to scheduling all that well at the best of times. But you can guarantee that when they get home at 10pm, it's not gonna do anything good for getting them to sleep, and to sleep well. So two nights this weekend, it's been pretty much a wash as far as having them sleep anything even close to resembling the night. So I've been up with them a couple times a night, which I'm used to, but I've been struggling with sleep myself by the time I finally get them both down, or it's late enough so the Academic Husband can take over if they do wake up.

This whole time, we've had a double bed in the nursery, and one of us has always slept in the same room as the babies, either having one in each room, or both in the nursery and one of us in there. But they've been finally sleeping longer than 2 hours at a time (thank you Frog), so I decided to move the bed into the office, which is right next to the nursery, freeing up some room in the nursery for a couple of dressers, which we really need because baby clothes spawn more baby clothes. Especially socks.

It was six am before I think I finally went to sleep at all, maybe later, and the boy got a call that he had to work, so I had to be up again by eight. I got up, hung out with the babies, and since they were cranky (unsurprising), I put them both down to sleep by about eight thirty. Frog in the master bedroom in a playpen, Monkey in the nursery in her crib. I usually split them up for naps so that they don't disturb each other if one sleeps longer.

And I thought, hey, since I'm exhausted off my ass, why don't I try that 'sleep while the baby sleeps' thing that I've been hearing about. Apparently all the cool kids are doing it. So I went into the office (so not to disturb the Frog sleeping in the master bedroom) and curled up under the covers.

And I wake up at about 12:30, with my mom standing at the foot of my bed.

She and my husband had been trying to reach me, and couldn't. They called my cell phone, which was right next to my head. I didn't hear it. They called the land line, which is very loud and annoying. I didn't hear it. So my mom decided to swing by on her lunch break and find out if we were all sleeping. Oh, I was sleeping all right. But the babies weren't. They were in hysterics, screaming and crying, and I didn't hear it. Not a bit of it. I just kept sleeping. And there's no way for me to know how long they were crying like that.

So my mom calmed my sobbing children down, fed them lunch, woke me to check on me, let me sleep another hour or so, then woke me up for a shower before she left around two. And right now, I feel so guilty and horrible about the whole thing that I could either burst into tears or throw up. Maybe both.
linden_jay: (Get Fuzzy- Dear Lord Make it stop)
2010 is here, and thank fuck for that. Seriously. I have never had a year that I was so happy to see end as 2009, and I know it's been that way for a lot of people that I love. So goodbye, 2009. Don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you, as they say. I got two good things in 2009, and they're both sleeping right now, which is another thing I'm grateful for. I might do some of those retrospective things in the next day or so, if I can stop hissing at 2009 long enough to get them typed. But for tonight, at least:

The Bad )

The Good )

What's sad? I know I've missed some of the bad stuff, but I'm pretty sure that I got all of the good stuff.

Anyway--goodbye, 2009. You will not be missed.

*From my 2010 'The Daily Bitch' calendar, which I was given for Christmas by my mother in law. I love that our relationship is such that she can give me a Daily Bitch calendar, and she knows it'll make me laugh. I'm planning on using them as my status messages for the year, as I try and post more.
linden_jay: (Mean Girls- Dramatic)
Getting so frustrated whilst trying to get your uncooperative boycreature to sleep that you end up winding yourself up, so that by the time he falls asleep... you can't.

Hey, you know what's not fun?

That, because I just lied.

I will now celebrate my newfound sleeplessness by cleaning my house... after taking two muscle relaxants to make my back stop hurting.

Actually, this could be fun after all....

ETA: Why does it make me giggle that this is the 600th entry in my lj? SIGH.
linden_jay: (Frog and Monkey)
So just to get the obvious out of the way--I'm tired, I'm stressy, and the Frog has absolutely no concept of what sleep is supposed to be, or that it's a nice and good thing, and that all the cool kids are doing it. I'm feeling frazzled, I'm low on creative brain, which is making me feel even more frazzled, and I'm dog paddling as fast as I can, determined to keep my head above water.

That said? I really need to focus on the positive here, so this is going to be a post where I goo about my kids. And post a lot of pictures. You stand warned.

The aliens are just over six months old. )
linden_jay: (Jared and his emo hoodie)
I've been out of sorts lately, behind in writing and posting and commenting and tagging in all the games that I'm in, on my journal, on my everywhere. And it's been bugging me and stressing me out when I realized that it's been since sometime in August since I've posted anything, and that I've got a few tags that have been lingering since spring. I hate that. I hate not being organized, and I really hate being behind. And then I started doing the math on things.

In May--there were those baby-creatures who showed up, and a twelve day hospital stay to go along with it.

Summer--baby things, combined with insanely hot temperatures that made doing anything just about impossible.

And then? August hit, and that's when things really fell apart. )

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